Your fitness
app doesn't
care.
Sarge does. He watches what you eat, whether you trained, how you slept — then he chews you out for it. Real accountability from a hardline AI Drill Sergeant. No participation trophies.
He calls it as he sees it.
Sarge adjusts the delivery of his wrath through his mood, which ranges from Furious to Impressed, all based on your persistence and performance. Show up consistently to earn respect. Skip a workout or crash out on your diet and you'll hear about it.
Share your ROAST.
Whether Impressed or Furious, Sarge will regularly roast you. Long press any message from him to share with friends.
Reports from THE FIELD.
Closed-beta screenshots. He writes workouts when you ask. He files a status report when you've been slipping. He warms up when you show up.
Everything he tracks.
Log it in plain language, he files it. No scanners, no databases, no menus to dig through. Just tell him what you did.
- ☑ Meals
- ☑ Workouts
- ☑ Sleep
- ☑ Measurements
- ☑ Supplements
- ☑ Steps
- ☑ Water
- ☑ Health events
- ☑ Personal notes
Your Data
At Ease.
Your logs stay on your phone. Your chats pass through us untouched. If you walked away tomorrow, there'd be nothing of yours to delete. Most fitness apps are data-harvesting businesses with a workout UI on top — this one is the opposite.
- Stored On Your Device
Meals, workouts, weigh-ins, Sarge's notebook — all in your browser's local storage. No cloud sync, no backups on our end.
- No Logs, No Copies
Your messages pass through our server to AI models running in attested confidential-compute enclaves — zero retention, no training. We don't save or log them either.
- No Account Required
No email, no password, no login. Nothing to breach. Nothing to sell. Nothing to subpoena.
Report for duty.
Closed beta — invite only. Got a code? Get in.
ENTER INVITE CODE